Forget about 2021 resolutions
Here’s what we all should be doing instead
Resolutions require you to set goals. How many of us actually attain goals based out of our new years resolution? How many gym memberships have gone to waste after the first month? No doubt I’m a lot bigger than I’d like to be since the wedding, since the quarantine, since all this madness began. But through it all, I’ve given up on all hopes and dreams of a new year’s resolutions and I will give you 3 reasons why you should too.
- To all of us: Resolutions- short, medium, long term ones are either dreadful to get to or are just simply unattainable
- To many of us: Life gets in the way of your resolution (probably the most common one)
- To the superhuman. Even if you do attain it, the goal is done. The end.
Instead, make your life your identity.
Be it, live it.
Let’s start:
- Be for others. What does this mean? All that talk that goes ‘Me me me me me’ is self-pity talk.
Viktor Frankl’s ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ — ‘For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.’
When it comes to doing something you think you can afford to do- doesn’t have to be material or money related- it could be your efforts and time. If you think that’s something you want to do to help, do it. Be for others.
My sister told me about a friend who lost her husband to cancer, leaving behind 2 daughters. She sent a photo of her playing a sticks game with her daughters. My sister had a similar game in mind that they might like and sent one over. This gesture alone would have made a day, or even a week! Bottom line is if something comes along to doing something you think you can afford to do for someone, do it.
2) Don’t try to consume too much at one go… You can’t eat 5 cups of rice all at once, why would you try to do 5 things at once and expect perfection? Likewise if you’re exercising for the first time, would you do a 100 pushups and quit early on thinking this is impossible? We all need to stop consuming, and PACE ourselves. Pacing is key.
If you’re lost and anxious, try to tap into your memory of what you used to do and work on it until your muscle memory starts to kick in. The familiarity of the work will start to hit you. That should release some forms of endorphins that can give you feelings of satisfaction & relief knowing that you are close to being back on track, or if it leads to a different track, that’s totally fine too. So work on stuff that can give you back that sense of familiarity.
Take things slow and steady. No need to rush. Remember, we are to live this life like it’s a long marathon, not a sprint.
3) Be solid in your game:
For me personally, nothing beats having solid grasp of knowledge in one’s field to exhibit or to be able to ooze confidence in the area. You see one of those senior managers who seem to be all talk but what exactly does he do? You don’t want to be that person. You want to be a do-er, not a talk-er. Nothing is sexier than being excellent at YOUR area of expertise.
4) Find humour: a good place to start is Trevor Noah’s earlier comedy days back in South Africa or Kevin Hart’s comedy on Netflix. Are you simmering anger or have regrets lashing out at someone? Find humour in your every day. If you’ve gotten off the wrong side of the bed, make attempts at humour; if your colleague is bugging you, find humour. I will guarantee you you’ll have sunnier days ahead.
5) Check in with someone you haven’t spoken to. Chances are they have not spoken to anyone in a while and your reaching out may just save them from a bad day.
If you can aim to continuously feed yourself these 5 things, your 2021 will look a lot brighter.